Circles of EffectivenessJanuary 12, 2022
Resilience in Your MailboxJanuary 26, 2022
A new year has started, but it hasn’t brought new promise. Self-care is important, you are trying, but it isn’t enough. If this is your mood, you are not alone.
What if you have rested and don’t feel refreshed? What if you feel despair, instead of peace? Reach out to a friend, a therapist, your doctor. If resting does not refresh you, if you find that self-care does not comfort you, tell someone. And keep telling people until someone takes you seriously and is helpful.
Keep Telling Supportive People
This is not a secret that gets better over time. Tell your sense of shame or embarrassment, “thanks for trying to keep me safe but people can’t help me if they don’t know.” If someone is not supportive, or doesn’t know how to help, tell another person.
Thousands of people are struggling just like you are. You don’t deserve to feel like this. All over the world there are people who have struggled and now feel better. There are people who understand what you are dealing with.
It is like you are in a dark basement and can’t find the stairs. It feels like you are stuck there forever, but you aren’t. There are stairs, and light, and people who know the way.
What if you are the friend or family member of someone who is struggling? There are things you can do:
Accompany Them as They Seek Help
Sit with them as they make a phone call. People who are struggling often feel like their brains are wading through wet concrete. They aren’t sure what to say, or where to start. Go with them to an appointment even if you have to sit in the car due to pandemic restrictions.
Seeing someone struggle is difficult. This is not a solo sport – build a team of support for yourself. You also deserve care and to feel less stressed. Reaching out to supportive friends, family, and professionals builds a network of resilience for all of you.
They did not choose to feel like this. “Snap out of it” is not helpful. “I love you no matter what” may not be believed at first but is helpful. Know that they can recover and that it will take time. If one solution isn’t working help them explore another.
This is not forever; there is a path out of that basement. It is hard to get started – but worthwhile. Reach out to your primary care physician, local mental health provider, or area agency on mental health. For online ideas the Crisis Text Line maintains a resource list https://www.crisistextline.org/resources/
You can text the Crisis Text Line at 741741. They offer free, confidential, skilled help. Here is how this works: https://www.crisistextline.org/text-us/ There are many other hotlines as well. The important thing is to reach out and to keep reaching out. You can feel better and it is a journey worth taking.