Resilience to Thrive
January 24, 2024Act with Courage
February 7, 2024Using Your Resilience Skills to Thrive. Part 2 of 7: Center in Your Own Wisdom.
Thrive – to pursue joy and meaning in your life. In this 7-part blog series we are exploring how your resilience skills can help you thrive. Each blog will focus on a constellation of skills that can be used to pursue the life you want.
Your number one skill for thriving is to center in your own wisdom. Listen to yourself about what really matters and what brings you joy. Only you can truly answer those questions. Take the time to explore your values, your baggage, and your strengths. This requires you to pay attention to your own thoughts, emotions, and reactions. This is an ongoing process as you are always changing and growing. You have the right to heal, to center into yourself and to explore your own desires.
The wisdom you gained going through difficult times equips you to thrive.
Your Values
Over a lifetime of experiences, you have a chance to learn what is important to you. It can start with noticing what doesn’t align with your values, thoughts like “I am never going to put up with that BS again!” Knowing what you don’t want is a great start. Move on to “I want …..” One difficulty is that there are a lot of important things. It takes wisdom to figure out which important thing matters most to you. Each iteration of focusing on what is important leads you to other options down the road. The journey itself can bring you joy and meaning.
Your Baggage
When complications arise, part of wisdom is knowing all aspects of yourself, including your triggers and ways of coping that are no longer helpful. This is not an invitation to shame or blame yourself, but to accept that we are all in process. Being gentle with yourself, exploring things that bring you joy, can be a huge part of healing. At times you may feel ready to take on a challenge. Centering in your wisdom will help you decide if it is time to heal, to rest, or to try a new approach.
Your Strengths
How good are you at seeing our own strengths? Many people have a hard time with this who consider listing their strengths to be bragging, or they take for granted those things that are second nature to them. Go ahead, be proud of your strengths. Things you are good at are often a source of joy. The positive loop between – this is fun and this is easy for me – builds upon itself. Your strengths will serve you for the rest of your life. The willingness to stand up and ask for help. Setting boundaries. Perseverance for getting important things done. These skills are so important for pursuing joy and meaning.
Wisdom knows strengths can be weaknesses if used to excess. For example – compartmentalization: the ability to lock up thoughts and emotions during times of high concentration. This is super useful when in a high demand situation. It is not a healthy way to live 24/7. Short episodes of high control need to be balanced with vulnerability and time to process thoughts and feelings. Knowing your strengths is important, balancing them to serve you in the long run is wisdom.
Owning your own story – being aware of what matters to you, where you are vulnerable, and how you can be strong allows you to consider what thriving looks like for you. Your thriving, those things that bring you joy and meaning, are part of the constellation that make you, you. Connect with people who honor you and support your growth. Live your own priorities.
Centering in your wisdom is an ongoing practice. Decide what is important for you at this point in your life. You can not live someone else’s dream for you. Honor the commitments that make sense to you. Know your own worth. You have both the right and responsibility to live your own life.
Peace,
Laura A. Gaines
This is part two in a seven-part series. To get caught up, check out Resilience to Thrive. The next four weeks will continue to cover specific groups of resilience skills useful in building a life of thriving. Part seven will be our conclusion. You are welcome to comment as we go by sending an email to resilience@learnmodelteach.com or engaging on LinkedIn or Facebook.