Liminality and Mother’s Day
May 8, 2024
Who’s in Charge?
May 22, 2024
Graduation – ’tis the season for caps and gowns, graduation parties, and diplomas. Graduates walk out into their future with a diploma in hand and knowledge in their head. They have moved from, “Who do you want to be when you grow up?” to “Now what?”, a liminal time in which the path is often unclear. It is helpful when there are “stepping stones” – solid points to use to move forward along their journey. Graduates have varying degrees of clarity and access to solid stepping stones in their lives.
There are few other times in life when so much changes all at once. There are practical and existential challenges occurring throughout this liminal time which interact with each other. Let’s look at some of them.
Important Basics
Where to Live and How to Pay for It.
For many, graduation brings with it a move, away from home or out of college housing. There is a huge range of possibilities. Jobs present a similar challenge. Depending on the degree of support and opportunity this can be a natural progression or extreme challenge. There is an Ohio group, Foster Action Ohio that is comprised of, and supports, youth who are alumni of the foster care system. They provide stepping stones for those who might otherwise not have support during this liminal time.
Social Connections
Who You Spend Time with and Friend Relationships
Graduation marks an end of classes, clubs, and the social structure of school. Students are repeatedly brought together in various combinations. The constant grouping and re-grouping provides a lot of opportunity to meet new people and to form friend groups. In college, my son had scheduled dinner times planned by his friends. This was a solid stepping stone for a young man who is an introvert. Once he graduated, he had to put more work into maintaining connections and to find new groups where he felt compatible. A lack of connections can make a liminal time feel very lonely.
Personal Identity
From “I am a student” to “I am a ______.”
In the U.S., we rely on our professions as a big part of our identity. Some graduates have a distinct degree that leads to a distinct profession. For those who don’t have a very specific field, or whose field doesn’t lead to specific jobs, it can be a challenge to build an identity that feels valued. Graduates are also moving into being a “full adult”, whatever that means. Is it an age, a checklist of accomplishments, or recognition? Stepping stones here might be recognition from others or a sense of belonging to a group, a job, or a physical place.
Time
Shifts in paces and schedules.
The school calendar is very structured: Monday through Friday, September through May or June. Breaks are scheduled a year in advance. Educators hand out a syllabus outlining tasks and responsibilities for the next 3 months. The work world holds many more options. Certainly, some jobs look just like school, particularly if you become an educator. But more often, each has its own nature and rules. It can feel odd to not gear up for school the first September after graduation. Adjusting to new ways of managing time impacts sleep, relationships, and energy levels. Time and schedules being very different, either much more fluid or much more structured (depending on work or parenting demands), is another aspect of this liminal time.
Graduation brings with it major shifts in important basics, social connections, personal identity and time. This is a liminal time where a lot is changing and interacting all at once. There are huge variables in the clarity and resources available to each graduate. A teen recently shared that she doesn’t need adults to give her information, her phone does that. What she needs is for someone to let her talk about her problems until she talks herself into a solution. Those of us who have navigated this space can offer stepping stones such as opportunities, resources, and listening to those who are moving through this liminal time.
Peace,
Laura A. Gaines
