The Balance Between “Me” and “We”
July 31, 2024Embracing “We”: Building and Sustaining Connections
August 14, 2024This is part of a series regarding the balance between “me” and “we”. In daily life, it’s necessary to balance your individual needs with your connections to others to stay resilient and to thrive. This blog will focus on “me,” your relationship with your self. This is important for many reasons. One: you are primarily responsible for you this is your first responsibility. Two: only you truly know how you are doing. Three: centering on your intentions allows you the biggest impact toward your goals. Being aware of your own needs and goals is always important; at pivot points in life, it becomes your priority. Take time to reflect on “me.”
Love 'Me'
“Me” is your own self, the person you’ve traveled through life with. Who you are changes and yet is the same person forever. You are a body and mind, a collection of memories and preferences that started in infancy. It is nearly impossible to define who you are separate from other people. So much of your identity is tied to who you are in relation to others, and yet there is that inner self, the person you have been in conversation with ever since you began to reflect on your personal point of view. Your “me” has been formed by experiences and choices. Love your “me”. Love your “me” because it is the most healing thing you can do. A deep honest love that sees imperfections and aspirations, strengths and abilities, scars and stories. You have value just as you are.
Listen to 'Me'
Take time to listen to “me”. Knowing yourself allows you to take advantage of the choices and options you have in front of you. With your own needs and goals in mind you can direct your actions toward what matters to you. Turn off the gadgets, step away from everyone else, and tune in to your own self. Ask, “what does ……… need?” (In the …. use your own name.) Listen for the answer and take care of yourself. Dig into those things that bring you joy and explore new opportunities that spark your curiosity. It is important for you to know yourself because no one else can know your internal reality. Notice who you are now; your abilities, interests, and needs change over time. Listen to yourself so that you really, really know what you need and want.
Protect Your 'Me' Focus
When you can tune out the chatter, hold your clearest intentions in mind, and do your best, change happens. This requires focus which can be disrupted by internal or external distractions. Watching the Olympic athletes this week you can see that just prior to a competition most of them look distant. There are an astonishing number of cameras literally in their face, and a maelstrom of activity around them yet they are focused. Afterward, the athletes describe their inner state – “I let go and let my body do the routine.” “My mind is like the best motivational speaker ever.” “I count the whole way through.” Being able to find your center, to breathe, and to depend on yourself is powerful. Practice grounding so you can protect your boundaries and set your sights on your goal.
Prioritize 'Me'
While it is important to stay in touch with your “me” daily, there are times when your individual focus becomes a top priority. For young adults, exploring personal identity and setting goals is paramount. For new parents, incorporating self-care into the demands of parenting allows them to better nurture their family. During times of major transition (marriage, divorce, retirement…) taking time to reassess and find new personal direction is vital. This could look like changes in daily routines to support your health or a major shift in work, relationships, or life. During a big shift, carving out time for self-reflection and personal exploration allows you to hear your own voice amidst the noise of life.
The next blog will focus on “we” – our connections to one another. Taking care of “me” allows each of us to bring our most authentic, healthiest version of ourselves to these connections. You taking care of yourself comes first. Know and love your “me”, taking time to reflect on your individual identity. Listen to yourself, keeping up with who you are and who you are becoming. Practice protecting your boundaries and intentions so that you can focus on your goals. If this is a time of transition for you, prioritize your focus on “me” so that your choices best reflect your needs and wants.
You are the only person who has full access to your inner life, your ongoing conversation with yourself. The goal is to create a solid foundation of self-awareness and self-care that supports your “me” through all phases of life. Balancing your inner sense of self with your connectedness to others allows you to pursue resilience and thriving.
Peace,
Laura A Gaines