Connect to Thrive
February 14, 2024
Thriving – Your Way
February 28, 2024
Thrive – to pursue joy and meaning in your life. In this 7-part blog series we are exploring how your resilience skills can help you thrive. Each blog will focus on a constellation of skills that can be used to pursue the life you want.
Your joy, the activities that bring you meaning, be stubborn about having them in your life. Spend time, energy, and resources on what matters to you. Stubbornness is a strength when it is applied in the right direction. Other words for this are persistence, frustration tolerance, and focus. Use these skills to be sure your life contains happiness, beauty, positive change and love.
Persistence
Keep returning to those activities that matter to you. There are many ways to persist. One of my cousins recently completed a quilt, after 20 years. She pulled that project out again and again until it was all the way done. Others persist daily: A friend recovering from cancer walked every day – to the end of the driveway and back. Then to the end of the block, walking a little farther every day. In time she was enjoying neighborhood walks appreciating the trees, flowers and birds.
A third type of persistence is like that of a mint plant, sending out tendrils in every direction spreading your efforts to all available spaces. A colleague, Lisa pursues every opportunity and angle to support youth in and from foster care. Mentoring youth, planning events, pursuing legislative change, teaching, leading – like a mint plant she sends out tendrils in every direction and spreads her efforts into all available spaces. Use your own style of persistence to take advantage of all the opportunities for your joy and meaning.
Frustration Tolerance
Mistakes will happen. The planning will take longer than you expect. The event will have hiccups. The matching item doesn’t, actually, match. It is helpful to take breaks and to remember that perfection isn’t the goal. Another way to describe frustration is it is when your expectations slam into reality. A personal sense of humor helps. “I can’t believe!” followed by a giggle and a big sigh. Because, in fact, you can believe that this isn’t going just the way you envisioned. Imperfection is not the problem; it is part of the process. Be gentle with yourself and others. Follow your imperfect path and work through the realities as you need to. Focus on what brings you joy and the difference you are making.
Focus
Keep bringing your attention, and intention, back to what you want in your life. This can be tiny, like pausing to lift your face to the sun in the morning. It can be huge, like restructuring your entire life due to a new priority. Whatever you are seeking, keep moving toward it. If you are not sure exactly what you want, take steps forward learning as you go. Notice what, and who, increases your sense of thriving. Use that information to refine your focus. Build inspiration with photos, books, art or friends. Write about your plans. Daydream and research. Savor the times of joy and celebrate the wins. This gives you motivation to return to those things that help you thrive.
Use your stubbornness for good. For all that brings you joy and meaning. Make room for what matters to you, it is worth it. Use whatever kind of persistence is needed – return to it after a long time away, do a little bit every day, or take advantage of every opportunity. Even the good stuff can be frustrating. Things don’t go as smoothly as you would like, stuff breaks, mistakes are made. Keep breathing, and don’t beat yourself up. Pause in whatever way you need to and get back into it. Maintain your focus – schedule it into your calendar, put up a picture or build a community around what matters to you. It is so very worth it to get to the top of the mountain, to see the smile on someone’s face, or to experience the joy of making a difference. Pursue what brings you joy.
Peace,
Laura A. Gaines
This is part five in a seven-part series. To get caught up, check out Resilience to Thrive , Center in Your Own Wisdom, Act with Courage, and Connect to Thrive. Next week conclude our coverage of cover specific groups of resilience skills useful in building a life of thriving. Part seven will be our conclusion. You are welcome to comment as we go by sending an email to resilience@learnmodelteach.com or engaging on LinkedIn or Facebook.
