Taking a Break
June 19, 2024
Resilience in the Summer
July 3, 2024
As Pride Month wraps up, I am writing this to my LGBTQ+ siblings and our allies. Thank you to everyone who marched in a parade, flew a flag, wore a pin, put your pronouns in your Zoom profile, handed out brochures, or showed up for someone. Thanks to all the businesses that have rainbow decorations in their windows or ran ads that featured our community. All of this boosts my resilience in a world that can be hostile. My wife and I married in 2017, and one of the foundations of our resilience is the loving support we have from our community, friends, and family.
LGBTQ+ rights make it possible for us and our friends to have strong self-worth, feel loved, build connections, and find support. While the decorations in town are going to be changed from rainbow to red, white, and blue next week (then almost immediately to pumpkins), pride will matter for us all year and in every season. Here are some ways I see it being important for resilience:
Strong Self Worth
If you are any kind of queer: bi, gay, trans, lesbian, gender non-conforming…. I don’t need to tell you how awful some people can be. It’s hard to be strong when you are told you shouldn’t exist. The message of Pride is that our existence is a good thing. The diversity in the queer community is a fabulous, amazing, and positive contribution to this world. Keep being the wonderful person that you are. We will continue to remind one another that self-worth is not determined by haters. Pride is seeing the value in ourselves and one another.
Love
Pride is all about unconditional love. Not the judgy, “You know I love you, but you have got to tone it down” offering. That is manipulation. True love is “I love you and your rainbow shoes, short hair, and sassy attitude”. True love is “I love you and the journey you are on; you don’t have to explain yourself.” Feeling unconditional love from a few good people makes the world feel a lot safer. For those who are spiritual or religious, knowing that you are a beloved child of the infinite (however you may define this) is vital. Pride is a sense that we are loved and lovable as our unique selves.
Connections
All those rainbow flags, pins, and t-shirts are signals that we are here for one another. No matter where we are in the world, my wife and I notice signs that we are among people who support us as a couple. Enduring relationships are the framework within which we live our daily lives. These are the people we vacation with and who we turn to in times of need. We need laws that support our right to marry and to create families. Pride is nurturing connections and advocating for the laws that support those relationships for all of us.
Support
At times we need support, a community-wide safety net. I know a young adult who felt totally out of place in a small conservative town. They moved to a family member’s home in a city where they could be integrated into a network of family and friends who are allies and/or queer. A year later they are thriving. When life is rough, we need access to a network of community organizations and friend groups who understand and are there for us. We all benefit from social justice groups who challenge hateful laws and provide unwavering support to the community. Pride is building support networks for help in challenging times.
Happy Pride – not because everyone is happy, but because we are happy to be here to support one another. We come together to support the worth and lovability of people across the rainbow spectrum. We gather in large and small ways to make connections and to build relationships. We share formal and informal safety nets. In all this we are helping to build resilience throughout our community all year.
Peace,
Laura Gaines
