With all the actual horror going on in the world, why do we play at horror? Scary movies, haunted houses, escape games, Stephen King novels. With Halloween just around the corner there are spooky  houses everywhere. Just down the street a neighbor’s house has skeletons crawling all over the roof. Why do we turn off the news and turn on a crime drama? 

We play at horror in many different ways, starting at very early ages. Hide and go seek at its very foundation is terrifying. The people we care about the most suddenly disappear, and we can’t find them! What a delight it is to realize they are right there, under the bed. This week in the USA children all over the country will dress up as delightful and scary beings then go knock on neighbors and strangers’ doors saying, “Trick or Treat”. We strangers will open our doors at night to offer bowls of candy to children we have never laid eyes on before.  

We play at horror for the same reason traumatized children act out their personal history in therapy. When I was a clinician I kept a bin of toy animals – friendly ones like puppies and cows and dangerous ones like snakes and crocodiles. These toys became the actors in stories told over and over again by children working out what had happened to them. As they played, my job was to narrate parts of their story, name emotions, and sometimes suggest alternate story lines. In play, children could tell the full story – thoughts, emotions, actions and reactions, stomach aches, and rage. They could use all the words they heard, without getting in trouble for saying them out loud. They could change the story, experimenting with different endings. This allowed them the antithesis of horror – control, choice, and safety.  

Playing at horror allows for fright that is safe, terror that can be turned off with the remote, and danger that is resolved by the last chapter. For some people, the temporary fear of a haunted house or roller coaster actually results in a calmer state when the event is over. (This is not true for all of us. I am not a fan of any of these things. I can deal with real life drama where I can help, but don’t tolerate made up drama.) We play with horror to gain a sense of control over experiences or emotions that are scary. In a haunted house, you can scream and use all the cuss words you know without getting into trouble. Playing at horror allows you to vent in a way that would be unreasonable at work or home. 

Then there is the real horror on the news. You are one human in a world of more than 8 billion people. You are not going to change geo-politics with your worry. However, you can make a difference by acting firmly in the center of your sphere of influence. You may, or may not, be able to impact the big story on the news. You can for sure make a difference in your local community and social network. Regularly calling a friend who lives alone reduces loneliness. Getting together with others to decrease transphobia, to provide food for food banks, or to plant trees makes a difference that ripples out and into the future. You can gather resources to meet community needs, and vote for politicians who will lead wisely. Focusing on what you can do, rather than what you can’t, allows you to see change, hope, and connection.  

Playing at horror allows you and others to gain a sense of control over fear, danger, and risk. It allows for exploration and release of strong emotions. Social bonds are strengthened among friends who visit haunted houses together – being there for one another in the face of uncertainty creates connection. Playing at horror can reduce the actual horror in the world by offering choice, connection and, on Halloween, candy to those around you. On October 31st I will do this by sitting in the cold on my front porch with a bucket of candy for all the children that stop by – toddlers to teens and wishing them a very Happy Halloween.  

Peace,

Laura A. Gaines

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