Systemic ResilienceFebruary 8, 2023
Feeling MiserableFebruary 22, 2023
How was Valentine’s Day for you?
There are so many variables in that question. For some it is a Hallmark holiday they don’t pay much attention to, so really, it was a Tuesday. For others life is rough right now and holidays of all sorts highlight difficult personal feelings. Another huge variable is expectations – did the day, or that person, or the meal turn out to be as wonderful as you had hoped? I certainly hope that you had a good day.
What really matters is this:
Do you know that you are worthy of love?
You are one precious person who is worthy of kindness, support, caring and love. I don’t know what your life experiences have been with this message. No matter what anyone says, or has said about you, you are worthy. You do not have to be “enough” or do “enough” to earn the right to be loved. You are deserving of care just as you are. Striving for goals or accomplishments is an important part of being human, but these sorts of goals do not change your intrinsic value as a person.
If you are the sort of person who puts others’ needs ahead of your own or sacrifices yourself for others, know that you are as deserving of care as they are. No one’s circumstances make them worth more. Certainly, there are people who need more support at this time in their life. There are whole communities who are in crisis. This does not diminish your needs. As you care for others, be sure to care for yourself. The world needs you to be well.
You deserve to love yourself. Speak kindly to yourself using self-compassion. Appreciate your strengths particularly the everyday ones. Only you know the challenges you overcome inside your own mind or with your own body. Some days getting up and getting going is an accomplishment. Take care of yourself; only you know what you truly need.
Knowing that you are lovable can be sustaining in difficult times. When you have made a mistake, when you have not acted as your best self, when your plans collapse – you are still worthy of love. If people around you tell you that you are bad, worthless, stupid or any other mean thing, know that nothing they say or think diminishes your worthiness. Their cruelty is not reality. You are imperfect and prone to error, that defines you as human. As a human being, by virtue of existing on this planet, you are worthy of love.
Love is not limited. It is not a finite amount of goodness that can be used up, lost or stolen. It is not a pie, with only enough to go around. Love is essential. It is the kindness of strangers, the bond for a lifetime, the softening of the heart toward someone in need. Love is all around. It is laughter and joy in the company of others. It is the cuddling of babies and fur babies. It is the inspiration and desire to create.
May you know you are lovable and find ways to share your love with others.