Rip Tides
March 12, 2025
White Caps is the third in our Turbulent Times series. Get caught up by reading Turbulent Waters and Rip Tides.
This is part three in a series of stories about being caught up in the turbulence of the ocean, tossed and terrified in an out-of-control experience. The current social-political turbulence has many of us feeling overwhelmed. It can be hard to know where safety lies and how to stay centered as rapid changes spin through the news. As we name our experiences and reactions, we can share our stories to build community and find ways to support one another. In each story of survival there are lessons to be learned that can be applied to our current challenges.
A Story from the Atlantic Coast
It is summer on the Atlantic shoreline. The extended family is at the beach with the 13-, 12- and 11-year-olds jumping in the waves. As the waves get bigger the oldest explains that they can avoid getting tumbled by diving into the smooth face of the wave. As you dive into the breakers the white surf washes shoreward and you will be carried to calmer water. The younger two swim for shore anyway; they get tumbled but make it to the beach. The older teen stays out in the waves enjoying herself, feeling smug.
She swims alone in the deeper water outside the surf line diving into the occasional wave that starts to crash on her head. Looking to shore she sees her mother yelling for her to come and realizes how far she is from the beach. She decides to rejoin her family. As she swims in a wave crashes down on her, driving her deep into swirling chaos. She surfaces gasping for air with saltwater stinging her throat and nose. Another wave looms so she dives into the curling edge, back to the deeper water. She looks for a calmer wave hoping she can get safely to shore. Looking to her family she groans in embarrassment as she sees her mother pointing at her and talking to the lifeguards.
On shore three lifeguards work together. One puts on a vest with a rope attached to it; he swims out to the girl. One stands on shore holding the rope, eyes focused on the lifeguard in the surf. One holds the tail of the rope and organizes volunteers to pull on the rope when it is time to haul in the first lifeguard and the teen. In the water the lifeguard tells the teen to put her back to him, hold his arm over her chest, and hold her nose. Thoroughly embarrassed, she is pulled through crashing waves and swirling sand until others help her and the lifeguard stand on shore.
Lessons Learned
Think ahead about long-term safety.
Not to blame a 13-year-old but deeper water is not a great safety plan. It can be tempting to retreat to calm and quiet, but that doesn’t always increase safety over the long run. Sometimes you have to take on a challenge or have hard conversations to make the situation better.
Build your team before you need it.
One adult swimming out to the teen would have put themselves at risk of being drowned by her if she panicked. Instead, there was a coordinated effort to keep both the swimmer and the lifeguards safe. Bystanders were recruited to help in a planned way. The lifeguards had practiced their roles and were able to act quickly in the moment. Plan, gather your equipment, and practice before you need to act whenever possible.
Ask for help.
The family had discussed having one of them swim out to help their child. With trained lifeguards nearby it made much more sense to ask them to step in with their training and equipment. There are times when it makes sense to have professional help. If you feel like you are out there, alone in the deep, let go of your 13-year-old worry about embarrassment and ask for help.
Listen to wisdom, even when it comes from an unlikely source.
If I had listened to my younger brother and cousin, I would have escaped the fear of having no safe way in and the 13-year-old humiliation of being dragged through the surf by lifeguards. I saw myself as the smart one because I had figured out how to dive into the waves. One bright idea doesn’t always take the whole situation into account, listening to others can increase your safety.
We are living in turbulent times. While emotional reactions are valid and need to be processed, we also need to consider what we can do to prepare. Think ahead to long term safety, build a team of folks you can trust, ask for help when it is available, and listen to wisdom shared. Building communities of resilience builds safety for everyone.
I am glad you are part of this community. If you know someone who is working to build their resilience, or to strengthen it in others, please share this email or link with them so they can get our updates. We are strongest together. Share your stories or reactions at resilience@learnmodelteach.com or in the comments.
Peace,
Laura
