Building Hope
July 17, 2024
The Balance Between “Me” and “We”
July 31, 2024
I have been writing about hope for a few weeks and invited you to share your thoughts. A few themes came out of your responses. The most prominent is that hope comes from community, not individuals. A second idea is that if you are struggling to find hope it can help to change your perspective. A third is that hope is lived out through small steps. A lot of the input referenced goals and dreams that are lived out one step at a time: Frodo destroying the ring in Lord of the Rings (Tolkein), Red and Andy finding respite where they can in Shawshank Redemption, and Emily Nagoski talking about the arc of human history. I feel encouraged as I learn about these different ways of seeking hope.
Hope Lies in Community
Every message or example shared with me identified community as essential to hope. This is seen at multiple levels. Close friends who are there for each other over time, a group coming together for a cause, or a neighbor learning a new language to speak to an immigrant family. A friend of mine summed this up in a group chat this week. In response to someone who was apologizing for needing support:
“In a wide-open field, a single tree is vulnerable and must rely on itself to withstand the winds and storms. In a forest, all the other trees provide support with their canopies touching to help steady each other and their roots become intertwined for more support. We are your forest. It’s ok to lean as much as you need when you can’t face the weather on your own. We got you dear one.” ~ Tess
Hope is Found in a Different Perspective
You may be able to find hope by shifting your perspective. This may be in looking back, looking forward or even looking very short term. In favor of taking the long view, Emily Nagoski talks in a youtube video An Alternative to Hope about the arc of human history. Another long view is seen in a friend’s favorite quote from Shawshank Redemption, “Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.” Both take a long view about hope, suggesting that we work in the present for that which may come years from now, or that which may not come for years.
A very different perspective is to focus on the close and immediate present. There are a lot of ways to exercise small bursts of hope. You may support someone as they work to get through an immediate crisis. If you are stressed, you can focus on a few doable tasks or small pleasures to make your week more manageable. Hope can be found in all sizes and time frames, depending on what perspective works for you in your current frame of mind.
Hope is Followed One Step at a Time
In every example shared with me, hope required going one step after another. Every person I know who was an “overnight success” spent many, many months, if not years, working up to the time when their goals were met. Hope is found in moving forward, not in sticking to a “perfect” plan. One colleague I talked with shared that they had an entirely different life in mind when they first started out as a solopreneur. She took one step at a time, making changes as she went. She is happy with her life now, and it looks nothing like her goals of 20 years ago. My friend who is struggling isn’t planning for next year; they are planning a flexible schedule that will work for next week. These are all hopeful steps.
I am grateful for the communities I am connected to where I can pursue hope. Talking together gives me the chance to learn from other’s perspectives so that we can pursue long and short-term paths toward hope. Bending the arc of humanity toward cooperation and care is a big job. I want to contribute my part with others who are also working toward a world where we can all pursue joy and meaning.
Peace,
Laura A. Gaines
