Shrinking Anxiety: 2025 Expansion Pack
April 23, 2025
Pausing to Focus on Love
May 7, 2025
This blog is part two of an expansion pack for the Shrinking Anxiety series I wrote in 2022. In that series I outlined steps to shrink anxiety; here I am describing additional tools or techniques to be used as needed. One of the challenges with anxiety during these liminal times is that there is so much to feel anxious about. Your thoughts can feel like a “fun house” at a carnival: noisy, chaotic, and terrifying. Two tools combined are useful in this situation: your brain’s preference for categories and your ability to name your feelings. These allow you to sort out what you are feeling anxious about and start to make decisions about how to address the challenges.
Finding Clarity
Humans think in categories. It increases cognitive efficiency to be able to think about groups of items rather than every single thing as a separate object. When you are hungry you first decide what kind of food you need: breakfast, lunch, dinner, or snack. This decision then narrows down your choices based on how your culture and family define these groups of foods. Bunching items into categories allows you to think about them in an organized way, decreasing the mental and emotional chaos.
Combining the tools of naming emotions and categorization allows you to step back and map out your reactions more specifically. By clarifying what you feel anxious about you have an increased ability to decide what to do about it. You can act rather than react. There are a number of ways you can categorize your life. One way is to consider the levels of relationships that make up your personal universe. As you do this, it may be helpful to sketch the circles or relationships so that you can think about them one at a time.
Here are the categories I am thinking about:
Self
Your own self, your primary responsibility as an adult. Your health, mental health, economic security, safety, and levels of support. It is easy to worry into the future, but the first step is to assess your current and very short-term situation. Take a slow breath and assess how you are in this moment. It is not selfish to take care of you; it is your #1 job. How are you, really?
If you are okay, don’t feel guilty, let out a sigh of relief and express gratitude for your situation. If you are not okay, inventory your strengths and identify what you need to care for yourself. Name any areas which are provoking anxiety.
Family: Loved and Chosen
Your inner circle, your family and friends who are like family. This is not everyone you know but those close, reciprocal relationships where there is give and take. This includes minor children, elderly parents, and those who rely on you as well as those you rely on. Be cautious about how many people you count in this inner circle; you are not responsible for the planet. What are your concerns at this level? Again, focus on the current or near future time frame. There is no need to borrow trouble.
Consider both the strengths and needs of people in this inner circle. Clarify needs vs wants. Your job is not to create a perfect reality. Your goal is to provide and accept support the best you can in the current situation. Write down your worries. Wherever possible, have an open conversation with your inner circle about your concerns.
Community
This is the next circle, the larger communities you are a part of in all aspects of your life. There are likely to be multiple circles, some of which overlap and others that may not connect at all. These can include your neighborhood, your faith community, others in your work, profession, or ethnic group. It may be people who share your background or hobby. This is a lot of people. Remind yourself that while you care about these people you are not responsible for all that happens.
As you sketch these circles, think about your concerns and the strengths found in these relationships. Often your local community is not reflected in the news. You may need to check in with people, join a meeting or attend an event to see how folks are actually doing. Write out your worries identifying those that are in the near future or seem most probable.
The World: National and International Communities
These are the huge, overlapping communities that are being reported on over and over again in the news. This includes whole countries, the planet, and other national or worldwide communities such as refugees, children, or populations facing discrimination and hatred. There is a lot of anxiety tied to events happening on a large scale. Your individual influence is small and yet you are bombarded daily with news stories about negative changes around the country and world.
Note what areas concern you, then work your way back up the circles to connect with others in your community and inner circle who have the same worries. It does not help the world if you lie awake worrying about tragedies around the globe. The world is a better place when you stay healthy, connect with others who care, and participate in community activities designed to make the world a better place. Your power lies at the individual, family, and community level. The goal is not to sacrifice yourself on the altar of social justice.
By using the power of your words and ability to identify categories you can break down your diffuse and chaotic sense of anxiety into more specific areas of concern. This then allows you to take the next step and to decide what, if anything, you are going to do about it. Worry alone saps you of your energy and leaves you vulnerable to exhaustion, despair, and fatigue. Recognize that your power flows from the inner circles, yourself, and your close family. Anxiety has asked you to pay attention. By categorizing your concerns, you can answer back with “I heard you. Thanks. I am on it.”
Peace,
Laura
