Whose Voice?August 23, 2023
Your Self-Talk MattersSeptember 6, 2023
Accepting your badassness: What do you say about yourself to yourself? How does this impact your ability to be resilient? In this blog series we are looking at how to assess yourself through a kinder, more accurate lens. The goal is to have a realistic view allowing for growth and appreciation. The stories you tell yourself influence your life choices in big and small ways. Having accurate self-awareness is a powerful tool in your self-care and resilience.
Last week I suggested you pay attention to whose voice you are hearing in your head. Notice this internal commentary and decide if it deserves to be heard. Don’t let negative, unkind, or untrue beliefs play over and over. Once you have the ability to filter those voices, you can take it a step farther by inviting other voices in. Open yourself up to kindness, inspiration, and encouragement.
It is amazing how quickly your brain alerts to criticism and how much weight it will give a negative comment. Even neutral comments may be interpreted negatively. This is because you are fine tuned to notice exclusion. Your brain processes social exclusion in the same way it processes physical pain. And yet, you can choose how you direct your attention. You can tune in to people who are empowering.
I am inviting you to deliberately tune in to those who send positive messages about you.
Your brain needs a reminder to put up your antenna and tune in to positivity. You may have a habit of brushing off kind statements and holding on to the negative. To have an accurate and more helpful inner voice, you need to tune into all the messages, particularly those which communicate to you your strengths and your inherent worth. Here are a few ways to do this:
Including positive statements in your self-assessment gives you a more accurate view of yourself. This increases your resilience and ability to tolerate difficult times. You are more likely to to ask for what you want and need if you feel you deserve as much care and consideration as anyone else. Build your positive self-assessment by accepting compliments, realizing positive aspirations apply to you too, and keeping your antenna open for seeing your own strengths. If you are feeling really brave, tell a good friend or your therapist that you are working on your self-assessment. Ask them to share one or two strengths they see in you. And then believe them!