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Laura Gaines here, introducing my friend, Joan “Raven” Friedlander who believes that “Liberation doesn’t come from fixing what’s broken but from shedding what isn’t you, and reconnecting with the essence of who you are at your core.” She loves in-depth conversations, animals, and interesting cloud formations. She is an experienced coach and author who helps people stress less about their finances. Here is her take on Financial Resilience:
What exactly is financial resilience? For many people, the first thought is that they simply need more. “I’ll be financially resilient when I have so many dollars in the bank or I earn X amount a year.”
Otherwise known as, when I ____________. And that ‘when’ isn’t now.
These days the holy grail of financial success is minimally $100K/year, the 6-figure-plus salary.
The primary challenge that accompanies this kind of thinking is this: No matter what someone earns or has accumulated… it’s still not enough. The lure of the bigger car, the bigger house and other external status symbols easily takes over. I call it The Good Life Checklist.
If financial resilience isn’t about having more, then what is it about?
Financial Stewardship
Making the shift from financial scarcity – never enough – to stewardship starts with taking care of what you have. It shows up in daily choices: deciding between what you need, want, or feel you “should have,” and how to respond when circumstances shift… in either direction.
Stewarding financial resources includes, dare I say it, looking beyond our personal wants to remember that we don’t live alone on this planet, that the pursuit of more has consequences.
This is not an easy thing to do, especially in the face of the prevailing cultural climate which says that more is always better, growth is the answer, and the present moment isn’t enough. What might financial stewardship look like in practice?
What Might Financial Stewardship Look Like?
Become aware of what you are spending, and on what.
Establish your baseline needs, first. See what is left over – or not – for wants and future needs. If income is insufficient to meet those needs, this is good to know.
I recently worked with a woman who closed her private pre-school business and was still spending as if she had that income. She knew she was spending beyond her means but didn’t know how to make new choices. Within 2 months, she found a way to cut those expenses in half – without deprivation. Armed with her monthly cash-flow planner, she’s become a proactive steward of her resources.
Develop Discernment
Become aware of the influence of FOMO (fear of missing out.) This one simple thing can make a huge difference. Those impulse buys, the things you’re sure you ‘must have?’ Wait a day or two. Let that urgency run through you and then see.
One woman, after developing her monthly cash flow plan, realized that she wasn’t able to accept all invitations to potluck dinners during the holidays. These seemingly simple invitations gave rise to a whole lot of stress – and resentment. With a new commitment to honor her financial reality, she determined that she could accept no more than one potluck invitation a week. Gone was her guilt.
So many of us are prone to override our needs so as not to disappoint others – or ourselves!
Protect your physche and welfare.
Consider limiting exposure to ‘the news’ and social media platforms that often curate inflammatory headlines and ads that promise the moon. If and when I do get onto Facebook, I don’t look to the right of the feed where these headlines and ads lurk. The same goes for LinkedIn and YouTube.
Bring yourself back to present time.
When you start to feel stressed about your finances, you might notice that there’s a lot of mind chatter to go along with it. Once you notice the swirl, make it a point to bring your attention back to the present time.
Try this approach. Turn your eyes downward, moving your awareness to your belly. And breathe, simply breathe. Or go outside and get connected with the movement of life around you. If you’re a parent, get down on the ground with your children and play. Or dance.
Then ask yourself, Am I okay now, right here right now? Usually, the answer is ‘yes.’ The future hasn’t arrived and this now is okay. It is all we have, after all.
Making the shift from financial insufficiency to stewardship means trading the endless pursuit of ‘more’ for a deeper trust in our ability to navigate whatever comes. Then, resilience stops being something we chase, and becomes something we live.
Raven
Joan “Raven” Friedlander helps create simple, living cash flow plans that support confidence and freedom. This reduces feelings of shame, guilt, and anxiety around money. She guides clients beyond surface-level budgeting to uncover what success story they’ve been funding, then align their spending with their true capacity. Discover how to build financial resilience that supports your authentic, aligned life choices. https://thisravensview.com
