I identify as neuro-spicy which is a fun way of saying that I am neurodivergent. I fall outside the range of “normal” when it comes to the way my brain functions compared to other people my age. This impacts all aspects of my life and work. Having a neuro-spicy brain results in unique challenges and strengths. It also means that strategies or coping skills that work for others may not work for me. I and others who are neuro-spicy, must factor in our own specific needs when planning ways to build and maintain our resilience. 

Neurodivergence is not a diagnosis but is a broad category for people whose brains and behavioral patterns fall outside the typical range. This includes people who are diagnosed with neurodevelopmental conditions such as ADHD, Autism Spectrum Disorder, Learning Disorders and other differences. It is not simply feeling different but functioning outside the norms of societal expectations.  

There are lots of ways to be neurodivergent. Does everyone who describes themselves as being neuro-spicy have an official diagnosis? Probably not but many would meet criteria if they were to be evaluated. The point isn’t for someone to prove a diagnosis but to identify how to structure their life and work to support their strengths.  

Regardless of how someone is neuro-spicy, there are consequences for not “fitting in.” I spent my entire educational career being told “if you would just live up to your potential,” and being described as lazy, unmotivated, and frustrating. This impacted my grades, my relationships with teachers and peers, and my opportunities. More deeply it impacted my self-assessment and lead to decades of beating myself up for being “lazy” and “scatter-brained”. Moving from a deeply ingrained negative self-image to one of self-acceptance improves resilience dramatically.  

In my thirties I learned that I had ADHD but somehow saw this as a personal failure that I needed to compensate for or overcome so I didn’t irritate other people. It really wasn’t until I was in my fifties when I realized that I have been living up to my potential all my life. I had lived my whole life with ADHD without any of the tools or supports that help me get stuff done. Now as an older adult, I have systems built into my life that support the way my brain works, and I have given up yelling at myself as a motivational tool. It makes for a much better life. 

These public conversations about Neurodivergence are part of a social justice movement.  Neuro-spicy people are asking that accommodations be made that allows us to use our abilities without being penalized for our differences. Rather than being asked to mask behavior or be expected to do things just like everyone else, we would rather be approached with supportive curiosity about how best to work together. When there is sufficient empathy the disabling part of being neurodivergent can be avoided. 

Note – accommodations benefit neurotypical people. The difference is a person who is neurotypical can function or get the job done without them. A neurodivergent person is much more likely to fail or develop burnout. A concrete accommodation example is curb cuts and ramps. They were installed to benefit people who use wheelchairs, yet a whole list of other people, who might not be considered “disabled,” also use ramps and curb cuts because it makes getting around easier. Everyone has quirks, those of us who are “quirkier than average” come up with ideas that others also find helpful.

To be resilient I need to embrace my neuro-spiciness and find ways to support the work that I want to do in this world. Part of which is to support others who are on similar journeys. For example, I run accountability sprints for entrepreneurs and writers, these provide the structure and support that I need to maintain focus on a project while also supporting others. Not everyone who has participated is neuro-spicy instead we are a mix of people, each with a particular brain, who are there to support one another while getting our own project done. This is the world that benefits everyone.

I am a neuro-spicy adult who has found ways to support my unique challenges and strengths. A lot of other people are also neurodivergent in ways that are both similar and different from me. When people are not supported in ways that fit their needs there can be a lot of stress, burnout, and a sense of being a burden to others. Approaching neurodivergence with compassionate curiosity allows for people to use strategies that support their abilities. These strategies often end up helping others as creative solutions to everyday challenges. By approaching our needs with curiosity, rather than judgement, we can support our own, and others’ resilience.  

Peace,

Laura