EP3: Sorting Your Worries

This blog is part of an expansion pack for the Shrinking Anxiety series I wrote in 2022. You can read about doing a reality check on your anxious thoughts and management strategies for anxiety from the original series. I am talking about this topic again because I am hearing so many people share their feelings of anxiety about our current political and historical events. We are in a liminal time, a fluid, chaotic, changing state. There are real threats mixed with possibilities. Your anxiety is not poking you out of sheer boredom; it is wanting you to pay attention so you can act in ways to stay safe. The reality though is that you are being poked so often that you may end up feeling overwhelmed and unable to act.

In Part 2 of this expansion pack, Categorize Your Concerns, I suggest you write your worries down and sort them by how directly they impact you. Here, I suggest another sorting method you can use. Whether you do this alone, together with loved ones, or with the help of a professional listener, putting your worries into words, and sorting them out gives you the emotional space to better manage your reactions. You can decide what your next steps are and reassure that anxious voice in your head that you are doing what you can.

A key strategy for resilience is to do what you can and let the rest go. That is hard to do when your list of worries is long. In the last blog, I suggested you pay attention to the worries that are in your inner circle and prioritize those that will maintain your resilience. Another way to sort your worries is to consider where your actions are effective. This can help you decide where to act, what to keep an eye on, and what to let go. Consider your worries and decide what sort of attention makes sense.

Act

You have a limited capacity for action. Every day you only have so much time, energy and focus. Consider those worries that make sense for you to act on. A few characteristics of these worries are that you can clearly define your concern, you have an action you can take that will make a difference, and you have the ability to do it. This includes items that only you can do, such as following through on medical care for yourself or reaching out for a resource. In some cases, you are one piece of a larger community. These are individual actions like voting, driving less, and checking in on a neighbor or friend who isn’t feeling well. There is a lot you can do when you focus on being part of a larger or longer-term effort.

Keep an Eye on It

Some worries are very real but are in the future, or you sense that it might be something you are able to act on, but you don’t have enough information. Either way you don’t see any way to act on it now or don’t have the capacity to do anything about it at the moment. In some cases, it makes sense to put a reminder in your calendar to look at it later or to set up time to research the problem. Future medical screening falls into this category. You can’t do anything about it today, but you can schedule a time to get it checked out. Be ruthless with this list. Carrying around vague worries is exhausting. If you really can’t do anything about it because your action list is full, then move it to the “let it go” category. If you are not sure, reach out to someone you trust to clarify if there is anything you can do about this worry at this time in your life.

Let It Go

This is the category that will have the biggest list. There is a lot to worry about in the world, most of it is not yours to solve. While it isn’t easy to do, let stuff go. This doesn’t mean you don’t care or are selfish. It means you are releasing worries that aren’t yours to manage so that you can make a difference where you can. You are one tiny human on a big planet. You did not cause all the problems; you are not going to fix all the problems. You can feel compassion for those who are suffering, and for your hurting heart, and still, let it go.

When you are feeling overwhelmed with anxiety, listen to your worries, and then step back to sort them out. The goal is to create three broad categories of worries. A few items that are yours to act on. Some items to keep an eye on so that you can address them later. Everything else needs to be released to free up your energy. By doing this regularly you can reassure your anxiety that you feel the poke, have thought about the threat and are managing the situation to the best of your ability. When you make decisions about your next steps, you support your resilience and ability to make a difference.

Peace,

Laura

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EP3: Sorting Your Worries

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Shrinking Anxiety Expansion Pack: Wrap Up

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Act

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Let It Go

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