Holiday Humbug
December 10, 2025
Recipe Adjustments
December 24, 2025
Christmas only comes once a year, with plans of special gatherings, gifts, and meals. There are times when last-minute crises interrupt your plans. I hope this does not apply to you. While this blog is about Christmas, it can apply to any major holiday or event where people have high expectations and a crisis interrupts life as usual.
It is nearly Christmas, and disaster decides to pay you a call. All of a sudden you have medical trouble, an accident, or some other form of unplanned, unwelcome situation. Loved ones are counting on you to make the holiday happen. Do you:
- A. put your needs on the back burner and power through no matter what.
- B. apologize profusely and promise to make it up as soon as you can.
- C. explain your new limitations and focus on taking care of yourself.
I vote for C. If you are the person who steps up and makes things happen, it is difficult to say, “I can’t.” It is hard on multiple levels.
Talking to Yourself
It is hard in conversation with yourself. Denial steps in with reasons why this is just a little bump, and if you simply push harder, you can manage. You may beat yourself up for disappointing others or ruining the holiday. Facing reality can be hard; you did not ask for this disaster and yet here it is. There are a lot of your own emotions to process; disaster is scary, maddening, and painful. Initially you may be unsure regarding how bad this is, how it is going to impact your life, and what to do next. It takes time to accept that this is a part of your journey and that you will have to let some things go to care for yourself.
Negotiating with Loved Ones
It is hard in conversations with those who depend on you. People will have their own reactions to your news. Some will be supportive and will step up to help. Some will manage although they are not happy. Some may focus their negative reaction on you and ask, beg or demand you to make the holiday happen anyway. You may be the target of anger, blame, or guilt. They are allowed to have their own thoughts and feelings; you are allowed to set boundaries around how much of this you have the energy to cope with. Ideally, people will be supportive and will give you the space you need to care for yourself.
The 'Shoulds' of People and Society
It is hard to deal with others who share strong expectations about what “should” happen. A medical professional may insist that you follow their prescribed protocol for care. A neighbor might want you to “at least pop in for a little bit” to the holiday party. Another person might urge you to push through or put your needs on the back burner so that you don’t “ruin Christmas.” At a time when you are coping with a high level of unexpected stress, there can be a lot of unhelpful input that pulls or pushes you in varying directions. You have the right to make your own decisions. Look for people who will listen, offer helpful ideas or resources, and support you in making the decisions that work for you.
Disaster is never welcome. When it interrupts something like Christmas, with strong expectations of holiday happiness, it brings extra misery. You have the right to choose C and care for yourself. You can shrink your circle of focus to your needs and the situation at hand. After sharing your limitations with others, set boundaries around managing their reactions. Connect with those who are supportive as you sort out what you need to do next. If you are coping with this situation, I wish you all the best as you find ways to care for yourself.
Peace,
Laura
